A schism that would eventually rend my friendship group apart began to form in the final hours of 2012 but really fissured the following morning, and eventually swallowed us all over the ensuing months. For my part, I chose a side early and paid the price for it- a rather vicious rumor was spread about me, and in a way, this helped me out: without the anchor of Rec Room 2 at Yarra, it allowed/inspired me to get out more and explore more of Melbourne and, even more excitingly, Australasia in general. This is the year I visited the Great Barrier Reef, the Rainforest, the Bush, Summer, Rosebud, New Zealand, Uluru and Seoul, if only for an evening. I also started doing theatre again, after taking a semester off- I acted in a twenty four hour play; I had a part written specifically for me; I starred in Amadeus again, surely securing it as a recurring motif in any autobiography I may or may not write (its themes of jealousy and anger would also be somewhat apropos); I even had to turn down a role because I was too busy (so Christopher Walken); my writing was performed on a new continent, twice, officially cementing me as an international playwright.
On top of this, the prolonged implosion of my social circle forced me to go out and make new friends, as well as strengthening relationships with old ones- Victoria, Aspen, Finny, Michael, Simon, Charlotte, David, Laura, Maddie, Declan, Greta, Daniel, Andrew A., Alana, Emily, Andrew K., Jess, Darcy, Anna. I'm not trying to say they're replacements, but I definitely felt the need to expand my network of friends and I found an ample supply of very worthy candidates. All this is to say: thanks, malicious rumormongers, your petty, destructive vindiction were my gain.
Of course, in July, I returned to Great Britain, leaving behind all these tantalising locations and lovely people (also some not so lovely). And, here's what I'm really thankful for from this year: I didn't get depressed.
Not that Britain is inherently depressing- but I have been known to sink into funks of mindnumbing depths, and I was extremely concerned that this would occur upon my return.I attribute my lack of depression mostly to my mother (and a tad to myself): she worked tirelessly to ensure that I was engaged by and motivated with my life, despite the fact that Shropshire is a profoundly unengaging and actively demotivating place. She made me get up, and look up old friends, and go for walks and work in the Second Hand Shop. She constantly checked up on my mental state and made sure that, even if I wasn't happy, I wasn't miserable. I found it sort of annoying at the time, but now I couldn't be more grateful (I made the point of telling her this over Christmas).
And then, of course, I returned to Edinburgh.
Socially, things have certainly changed- and mostly for the better, I feel: lots of the people I knew are gone, but then I hated most of the people I knew. And now I'll never see them again- huzzah! And the freshers, despite my initial reservations, are proving to be much the same as any other group of people- some rotters, some good'uns, wheat and chaff, curds and whey, salt and vinegar. Just sieve the gold from the river muck, as my Grandad probably said entirely literally. I am sad that people I counted as close friends, like Matthew, are gone; but, hey, if I want to get in contact with them, it's easier than ever. And to make up for it, I feel I've become much better acquainted with people who were part of my life before, but were never particularly prominent: Emma and Jonathan, for example, started Bedlam when I did, but our paths seldom crossed. Until now. Yay.
Academically, I have found the trasition from frittering about and occasionally handing in some hastily-penned essays to my grades actually mattering extremely stressful and horrible, but then it was always going to be, so at least I
Financially, my parents actually told me they thought I wasn't spending enough money- no joke- and they're going to up my monthly stipend. Woot. Still don't have a job here, though. Ah well- if at first, you don't succeed, et cetera, et cetera.
Romantically...well, I guess realistically that this year was as much a dud as every other romantically. Except that I had four potential suitors this year, all of whom expressed some degree of interest in me- at least one of which was even just purely physical, which I genuinely never expected to happen. So, I'm gonna chalk that up as a win, even if none of them really led anywhere (at least, not for very long).
What I'm saying is, this has been a very good year, especially when imagining how easily it could have gone wrong: my final few months in Oz could have been ruined by childish insults and churlish malevolence; I could have fallen into depression after the end of my year abroad; I could have returned to Edinburgh and found all that I'd missed gone forever and only vulturine newbies in its place; I could have failed to pick up the pace academically; in short, I walked a knife edge, and mostly managed to stay on top (I do realise, I should say, that I live an incredibly privileged life and none of these troubles match one tenth of the woes faced by most other people, but they still plagued me). I'm proud of what I accomplished this year, especially in terms of what I managed to avoid, and how much gold I actually did sieve from muck. On to 2014- may it be even better.
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