Welcome back to the fiftieth post.
I am finished with university. At least, for the time being. I sat my final exam today, with unexpected results (I have to go the Doctors tomorrow), but nevertheless it was my final exam of my final term of my final year, which means I am done.
I don't know how I feel- the last few days have been a rollercoaster, even moreso than usual before an exam (see above re: Doctors), and so of course in a way it's just a relief that those stresses cannot hurt me anymore. But I actually just feel completely normal: I imagine it will hit me at some unspecified point in the future; come swooping down from above and knock all the air out of my lungs because OH MY GOD NO MORE UNI but right now I don't feel anything.
I look back on my uni experience and I think I've accomplished most of the things I set out to do: I went on a year abroad, performed at the fringe, recieved a standing ovation, won awards for both writing and acting and got involved in fifty theatrical productions. I know it's terrible and more than slightly pathetic, but I'm proud of myself. I just hope I can continue this trend.
I see this as the beginning of Adult Life- that nebulous, unknowable thing that apparently happens to you when you're least expecting it and are making other plans- and, of course, I have a lot of expectations of myself and my situation which I am hoping to meet now that I am an adult. I want to read more, and use the internet less; I want to eat only healthy foods, exercise every day, and yet somehow still have the money and energy to go out with my friends four evenings out of every five; I want to write something creative everyday, and be involved with some kind of performance every week. I want to follow every single instruction in this song to the fucking letter.
We'll see how many of these I'm still keeping up by the end of the month, shall we?
Working in my favour, with regards to starting Adult Life, I have a proper post-uni job lined up, teaching English in France come October. It's only for a few months and obviously doesn't start for a while, but I hope it'll look good on my CV and will allow me to expand the list of places I have lived, which I want to be as long as possible (another commandment I have set myself by means of guiding my life).
Until then, I'm remaining in Edinburgh as long as possible- hanging out, working the occasional shift in Teviot, maybe doing a show or fifty- pretty much the exact same as before, except now no one's subsidising me.
...Progress?
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