Niceties

Bedlam, Reduced

I already wrote a long post about this, so I'm gonna keep it relatively brief: Bedlam Reduced happened, and so I am now finished with Bedlam shows as far as I can tell. Of course, I've been told 'never say never', so who knows when I will actually say goodbye to Bedlam, but for the moment I cannot see a situation in which I would return.

BedRed itself went quite well, although we got our fair share of backlash for some of the more biting satire. One of the actors in the original Bedlam Reduced spoke about how the audience gasped after they had just uttered a barb at the expense of another Edinburgh Student Theatre Company, and how ever since they had wanted to recapture the moment of having shocked people. I found this interesting, because I felt the exact same when I got an audible 'ooooh' for one of my off-the-cuff remarks about a show that I actually didn't even see: I wanted to dish out more bile, just to get them even more riled. I can't help but wonder if this is a natural human emotion- the urge to shock- or if it's conditioned into us by the competition of society and a system that equates attention with worth. Certainly, I received a huge thrill from throwing out "controversial" quips and I can see how some comedians get off on saying the most vile thing imaginable and watching the audience go wild. I don't want to ever be like them, though.

Epiphany
It's my current plan that I won't be in Edinburgh for too much longer: I have exams, and then no other real commitments, so I kind of want to wrap things up here and head out for new pastures. It occurred to me the other day at five a.m., when all the really good epiphanies take place, that, much like Melbourne, I would have the chance to completely reinvent myself wherever I ended up- unless it's Shropshire, of course (I hope to God it's not Shropshire).
And I decided I wanted to be nice. In Edinburgh, people know me as being somewhat acerbic and a slightly stuck-up- I think most people work out that it is, for the most part, a persona that I'm playing for laughs, but next time I'd kind of like to try being a genuinely nice person. However, the reasons for this are all self-serving and not because I want to genuinely be a positive force in other people's lives, which I guess kind of defies the point.
Anyway, as I said, I came to this realisation early in the morning, and when I properly began the day the first person I ran into was a very real test of my abilities to be cordial, let alone nice and I realised that I can wait until I move and don't have to start now.

Panto
We had a reunion for (most of) the cast of Scooby Panto on Tuesday, where we rewatched the show and I was relieved to find that I still think it's funny. A lot of art in which I participate later leaves me feeling cold, but I was genuinely snorting and roaring with laughter- sometimes even at my own jokes (I really am turning into my father). It was nice to see the cast and crew again, although to be honest most of them had been involved with Bedlam Reduced in some capacity, so it hadn't been too long in most cases since I'd seen them.
Daphne actually reappeared in BedRed- four times, in fact- and so when I said she'd be the last part I played on the Bedlam Stage I wasn't entirely wrong. Being technical, as one always should be, the last part I played was Rosie Pierce (another member of the BedRed cast); however, just before this, Lauren (yet another castmate) did an impression of me as Daphne, so in a way, the last words said by 'me' were from Daphne. That counts, right?

On the way back from the panto reunion, Julia and I had an enlightening conversation. She was upset because I'd had a cheap laugh at her expense in BedRed and had said something genuinely offensive. At first I defended myself and said that was the point of the show, but soon I relented and apologised. I felt rotten that I'd hurt her and really tried to stress how ashamed I was- but I don't know if I'd do the same for everyone if they asked me to. For example, the person I met after my epiphany was derided quite sharply in Bedlam Reduced and they'll swallow arsenic before I will ever try and appease them. This is a morality that I've long held true, but that has gotten me in trouble several times: I have no qualms about doing bad things to bad people. The supposed moral inequities of this position have been pointed out to me numerous times, but I just don't see it. Some say that this will prevent me from ever being a nice person (see above), but honestly if being kind to pricks is what qualifies me, then count me out.

Poetry
I've uploaded Bedlam, Bloody Bedlam here (you can also find it on the Writings page).