Entropy

So, it's that time of year again, where we all question every single life decision we made up until now and regret any and all actions that we have ever undertaken. I speak, of course, of exams.
I was going to start this next paragraph with a barefaced lie, and say that I used to enjoy examinations, and while that has never been the case (I had to go to the doctors once due to stress induced headaches- I was ten), I never used to have such an antagonistic relationship with them. I certainly used to be much better at revising: my attention span was even above ten minutes at one point. I mean, I managed to fare quite well at GCSEs and even better at A2s, once I'd escaped the oppressive awfulness of William Brookes, but now I struggle to even make myself google useful resources. I leave the flat without my notebook, meaning I can't revise 'properly' and thus managing to convince myself that there's no point in even trying, and I'm convinced that I do it on purpose.
I used to think this was because I didn't enjoy my course (it's debatable whether or not this is still the case- I mean, no more syntax), but when I think back, I managed an A* in maths and I loathed that (I actually also managed, somehow, to get an A in PE). Plus, my friends who enjoy their course- Rachael Murray**, for example- expound a lot of energy listing the various revision-related woes in their lives. So, what's changed? Part of me thinks that it's that I no longer live with my parents, and, without patrimonial gravity, constantly looking over my shoulder and pressuring me, I simply float off into the outer-atmosphere of lolloping. This is worrying because it casts a serious shadow over plans for post-grad I may have, unless I want to undertake them at Wolverhampton Uni, the only institution within commuting distance. The other answer, which is even more worrying, is simply that I peaked at Sixth Form and now entropy has set in, and all my energy is slowly draining into the environs until I'm left cold and completely lacksadaisical (I also got an A* in GCSE physics, so you can be assured that this is how entropy works).
Of course, if I give up on myself entirely, then I am assured to never get any work done and to that end I have taken on someone to work with- a ""Study"" ""buddy"", if you will- to try and motivate myself. Poppy is quite a good influence, as it turns out- I've certainly done more than I would have without her companionship, including making a cheat sheet and writing out various grammatical miscellanies (my mother suggested writing these on my arm and then 'weakly washing them off' before the exam, and she has an MSc, so maybe it'd work). But, that being said, I've now spent an hour writing out this blog post, so obviously she's not all that.

And now, I really should get back to work.

**Editor's note: Academics often note this as the first appearance of Rachael Murray in the Kelly Canon; however, an earlier reference to 'Rachel Meyrick' is believed to be an incarnation of the same character.